This Is My Life: 🥳
50 Lessons from Billy Joel as I Turn 50
Growing up in the 80’s and 90’s, I knew every word of most Billy Joel songs. I I loved his music AND lyrics. They moved me then, but, now, on the cusp of 50, as I listen to these songs, I relive the heartbreaks, the professional dramas, the reinventions, the letting go, the kids growing up, the soul searching, the ups and the downs. My Life! And I bet yours, too.
Last week on a road trip, we listened to a live Billy Joel concert in NYC. Beginning to end. I hadn’t heard these songs in a very long time. In revisiting them this week I realized the Piano Man himself has had it all figured out and packaged up, for the longest time.
So in honor of my 50 years on planet 🌏 , here are 50 lessons I’ve learned - in the words of none other than Billy Joel.
I made a mix tape on Spotify 👇 Press play, then start reading…
1. The Entirety of Piano Man (Piano Man)
I am starting off with the song that made him famous. Overplayed? 100% but it is good because it is the perfect descriptor of the human condition. Dreams unrealized, quiet desperation, needing a change, lonely for connection, and what they all have in common is…Music - the pianoman - ties it together. We are never alone. And anytime we think we are, just hit play on Piano Man.
2. “This is the time to remember
'Cause it will not last forever
These are the days to hold on to
’Cause we won’t although we’ll want to.”
(This is the Time)
Every stage: childhood, with friends, grandparents, my kids, my parents, my siblings, my extended family. Every season of love. If you didn’t learn to be present before. Remember to be present NOW.
3. “Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?” (Vienna)
I was in such a rush to “arrive” I almost missed the point. Wait for the right thing to come along, don’t rush into the first opportunity.
4. “You've got your passion, you've got your pride, but don't you know that only fools are satisfied?” (Vienna)
You never arrive. Hold on to the fire and use it to fuel your passion, but understand that you never really “get there.”
5. “Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true.” (Vienna)
Some dreams are stepping stones, not destinations.
6. “Slow down, you're doing fine /
You can't be everything you want to be before your time.” (Vienna)
Time isn’t the enemy.
7. “And who was wrong and who was right,
it didn’t matter in the thick of a fight.”
(Goodnight Saigon)
True in marriage. True in divorce. True in life.
8. “You can have the love you need to live, but if you look for truthfulness, you might just as well be blind.” (Honesty)
We want honesty, but often can’t handle the whole truth—especially about ourselves. At the same time, honesty IS so hard to give. Right?
9. I am an Innocent (Wo)Man. (Innocent Man)
Pretty much the whole song still stirs me. It's the unhealed inner teen anthem of all who gave their heart too easily. Especially the line: some people live with the fear of a touch and the anger of having been a fool. Damn! I never wanted to be someone who stayed resentful.
10. “We’re waiting (from Allentown)
For the promises our teachers gave
If we worked hard, if we behaved
So the graduations hang on the wall
But they never really helped us at all
No they never taught us what was real”
School prepares you for corporate ladders, college degrees, and compliance; not for being human.
11. “I still belong
Don’t get me wrong
And you can speak your mind
But not on my time.” (My Life)
Boundaries. Glorious, hard-earned boundaries. And, I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to go home. I think we could all do with a bit of live and let live.
12. “You know those lights were bright on Broadway…”
(Miami 2017 - Seen the Lights Go Out on Broadway)
And now I live in Florida, like he said. It hits different at this age.
13. “You Have to Learn to Pace Yourself…
You’re Just like Everybody Else.” (Pressure)
We all deal with pressure one way or another. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Just do the work.
14. “I am the entertainer /
And I've had to pay my price.
The things I did not know at first
I learned by doing twice.” (The Entertainer)
Sometimes thrice. From mistakes at work, as a parent, as an “ex-wife” as a co-parent. As a stepmom.
15. “We didn’t start the fire…but when we are gone, will it still burn on and on and on…” (We Didn’t Start the Fire)
I believe the best of us is trying to interrupt the patterns that got us here. It’s what gives me hope. It’s what drives me to do this work. The future is in the hands of this generation and it is our responsibility to hand over the reins to well-equipped, capable, independent, kind, and generous thinkers and doers.
16. “So many faces in and out of my life
Some will last, some will just be now and then
Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes.”
(Say Goodbye to Hollywood)
I’ve said both, in love and in grief, more times than I ever imagined. Yet every goodbye is a step into a new hello.
17. “In every heart there is a room…” (And So It Goes)
The first Billy Joel song I ever learned on piano—and the truest words about heartbreak and healing. My silence is self best defense. Especially in our relationships with our own demons and when we break our own heart.
18. “Sometimes I lie awake night after night/
coming apart at the seams/
eager to please, ready to fight/
Why do I go to extremes?”
(I Go To Extremes)
I have been judged for this. After discovering the Gene Keys and human design I realized this is literally how I’m made. Gate 15 is the gate of extremes which is partnered with the gate of rhythms - turns out this is my communication style and how I’m here to communicate.
“And if I stand or I fall
It's all or nothing at all”.
19. “Vienna waits for you.” (Vienna - again)
Patience was never my strong suit.
They don’t call it divine timing for nothing.
Nothing that is meant for you, that you’re searching for, will ever pass you by.
20. “She only reveals what she wants you to see/
she hides like a child, but she’s always a woman to me.”
(She’s Always a Woman)
Whatever you are - the best and the worst. You are who you are. No apologies.
21. “Need to know that you will always be,
the same old someone that I knew.”
(Just the Way You Are)
Not someone for them. For you. The real you.
Before the masks, the roles, the conditioning.
The one who dreamed and danced without shaming or explaining.
22. “Ah, what will it take 'til you believe in me/the way that I believe in you?” (Just the Way You Are)
What if your soul has always believed in you?
Through every pivot, heartbreak, and reinvention.
What if it’s you who’s been waiting to catch up, to trust your worth, your voice, your vision?
23. “They say that these are not the best of times / But they’re the only times I’ve ever known.”
(Summer, Highland Falls)
There is a sense of uncertainty in midlife. Because you don’t know what’s next. You wonder if the best is behind you, or yet to come. There is a sense of uncertainty when the world seems like it’s careening to self destruction. But these are the only times I’ve ever known. So I’m going to do what I can to thrive in spite of and because of it.
24. “And isn't that a kind of madness/To be living by a code of silence/When you've really got a lot to say?” (Code of Silence)
Speaks for itself.
25. “I know you well enough to tell you've got your reasons / that's not the kind of code you're inclined to break /
Some things unknown are best left alone forever /
And if a vow is what it takes
Haven't you paid for your mistakes?”
(Code of Silence)
Full stop.
26. “You've only had to run so far so good
But you will come to a place /
Where the only thing you feel /
Are loaded guns in your face /
And you'll have to deal with.” (Pressure)
Like the Peter Principle. There sometimes comes a job, or a life situation, where you hit your level of incompetence. That’s not a time to walk away, it’s a time to double down, to work harder - if it is something worthwhile.
It’s a bit ironic in relation to the Movin’ Out theme. But hey both fit.
27. “We’re the same even though we’re alone
It’s alright
Yes, we all need a room of our own.”
(A Room of Our Own)
28. “Yes, yes, you had to be a big shot, didn’t ya
You had to prove it to the crowd
You had to be a big shot, didn’t you
All your friends were so knocked out
You had to have the last word, last night
You’re so much fun to be around
You had to have the front page, bold type
You had to be a big shot last nightBut it’s the foundation of every real thing I’ve built.” (Big Shot)
I was born with my foot in my mouth.
It’s gotten better but I occasionally slip. See: Big Shot.
29. “Call me a joker, call me a fool
Right at this moment I’m totally cool
Clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife
I feel like I’m in the prime of my life
Sometimes it feels like I’m going too fast
I don’t know how long this feeling will last
Maybe it’s only tonight.” (I Go to Extremes)
But hopefully not.
30. “Oh, it doesn’t matter what they say in the papers
‘Cause it’s always been the same old scene
There’s a new band in town
But you can’t get the sound from a story in a magazine…
Aimed at your average teen.”
(It’s Still Rock ‘n Roll to Me)
Still true. Don’t read the news ever again, until you have learned to discern what’s real and what’s narrative.
31. “I know the moment isn’t right
To hold my emotions inside
To change the attitude tonight
I’ve run out of places to hide
And if that’s how I feel
Then it’s the best feeling I’ve ever known
It’s undeniably real
Leave a tender moment alone
(Leave a Tender Moment Alone)
The feelings aren’t wrong. There is only a right and a wrong time to share.
32. “Sing us a song, you’re the piano man…” (Piano Man)
Sometimes you’re the background music to other people’s drama. But your melody matters.
33. “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.” (Only the Good Die Young)
Same. Give me the real, messy people every time.
34. “Good luck moving up cause I'm…movin’ out.” (Anthony’s Song)
Type A personalities do not and cannot understand this song until they have lived long enough in the grind, and experience the broken back that only allows you to polish the fenders of your proverbial Cadillac (that you cannot physically drive). Get out of the rat race before it’s too late.
35. “You can get what you want / Or you can just get old.” (Vienna, again)
You don’t have to let life pass you by. Take control and live on your own terms.
36. “You’re only human/You’re supposed to make mistakes” (You’re Only Human)
Falling down is part of getting free. No judgment whatsoever. It is literally part of the story. Stop shaming.
37. “The good old days weren’t always good / And tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems.”
(Keeping the Faith)
A beautiful contrarian view of nostalgia. All those old commercials that were insensitive, racist, we have made progress. The good old days weren’t that great if you really think about it. Not that you can get it back, anyway. Focus on the road ahead.
38. “A bottle of white, a bottle of red
Perhaps a bottle of rose instead
We'll get a table near the street
In our old familiar place
You and I–face to face”
(Scenes from an Italian Restaurant)
We carry the past with us. Our stories never leave us.
39. “It's just a fantasy / It's not the real thing.” (Sometimes a Fantasy)
Learning the difference between projection and introjection took is taking a long time. But sometimes a fantasy is all you need.
40. “When am I gonna take control
get a hold of my emotions
Why does it only seem to hit me
in the middle of the night.”
(Sometimes a Fantasy)
Especially while going through perimenopause! But since Billy wrote this, it’s obvi not just a female problem.
41. “It’s not automatically a certain guarantee
[that people will know what you think/feel]
To insure yourself you’ve got to provide communication constantly.”
(Tell Her About It)
Not just with our partner or significant other.
With every person you care about.
42. “Well, we all have a face
That we hide away forever
And we take it out and show ourselves
When everyone has gone
Some are satin, some are steel
Some are silk and some are leather
They're the faces of a stranger
But we'd love to try them on.” (The Stranger)
The longer you wear the mask, the more of a stranger you become to yourself. It’s exhausting. And liberation can be brutal if you let things get too far.
43. “In the middle of the night (Middle of the night)
I go walking in my sleep (I go walking in my sleep)
From the mountains of faith (Mountains of faith)
To the river so deep (River so deep)
I must be looking for something (Looking for something)
Something sacred I lost (Sacred I lost)
But the river is wide (Oh, it's wide)
And it's too hard to cross (Too hard to cross)”
(River of Dreams)
This song came out the summer I graduated high school. I thought it greatly described what I thought was that door that was opening to the rest of my life. Also, I sleepwalked well into my twenties.
44. “I don't know why I go walking at night
But now I'm tired and I don't want to walk anymore
Hope it doesn't take the rest of my life
Until I find what it is I've been looking for.”
(River of Dreams)
👆
45. “I really wish I was less of a thinking (wo)man
And more a fool who's not afraid of rejection.”
(Sleeping with the Television On)
A lesser known song, but easily one of his best.
I mean THIS LINE! Yet here I am; writing; putting myself out there.
Hoping to be of service, despite the very real chance of rejection.
46. “I'm streetwise, I can improvise.”
(Why Should I Worry)
47. “How thoughtlessly we dissipate our energies
Perhaps we don't fulfill each others’ fantasies
And as we stand upon the ledges of our lives
With our respective similarities
It's either sadness or euphoria.”
(Summer, Highland Falls)
No longer who I used to be, but not quite what I’m becoming.
48. “Turn the choral music higher
Pile more wood upon the fire
That should make the atmosphere complete
I've had to wait forever
But better late than never
She's just in time for me.”
(She’s Right On Time)
49. “Don’t Forget Your Second Wind.”
(You’re Only Human)
Don’t forget your second wind
Wait in your corner until that breeze blows in. 50, here we go.
50. “These are the last words I have to say
That's why it took so long to write
There will be other words some other day
But that's the story of my life”
(Famous Last Words)
This song marked the end of Billy’s recording career. And like all true endings, it carried both closure and beginning. Bittersweet doesn’t mean broken. So look back. Take in all you’ve built, all you’ve survived. Celebrate the good. Honor the journey. Then, onto the next chapter.